I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize