She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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