Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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