you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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