I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Your dad touched me again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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