Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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