If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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