there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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