Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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