Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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