so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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