Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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