Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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