it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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