I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize