she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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