Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize