You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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