Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
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Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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