hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
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he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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