I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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