i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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