There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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