My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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