i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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