Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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