Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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