she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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