I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize