My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize