Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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