I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its not stalking. its research.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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