idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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