I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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