I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Come share oat with me in your robe
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize