and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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