I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize