Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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