dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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