Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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