he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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