Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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