The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize