last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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