Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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