someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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