Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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