maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize