Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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