it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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